Are Your Relationships Suffering?

Posted by Shelley Baur, Author Integrity-Based Communications in Relationships tagged with ,

Issues With Relationships?

Best RelationshipsAre your relationships suffering from lack of clarity in communication?  Do the issues in your relationships result from drama and high stress?

Are your days filled with so many “busy” exchanges, that building relationships is an afterthought?

Honestly, do you really receive the uninterrupted, quality time you are craving with your closest relationships — best friend or partner?

Your Relationships Can Improve

In every area of your life, if the relationships you have are producing exactly the results you want – be it love, financial reward, respect, and everything else you really want – don’t bother to read any further.

If your relationships are good, chances are they can be even better.  If you believe that clarity, self-confidence and better outcomes are both desirable and possible in your relationships, please read on.

Taking the risk to know yourself, deeply and authentically, can radically change who shows up in your life, and how they interact with you. It’s the beginning to a richness in relationships you may never have experienced.

How?  Being honest about who you are, what you want, and setting boundaries about what is not acceptable, may actually result in people treating you differently than they do others.

Until 12 short years ago, I struggled in personal relationships until I learned to accept and like myself so that I could focus on another person more than myself. What a freedom to be honest, authentic, and vulnerable, communicating with integrity!  It resulted in having an honest, authentic, vulnerable relationship based on integrity.

Taking the time to know others more deeply and authentically demonstrates that you really do care about them, and that you really do value your relationship with them.

Giving others the benefit of the doubt adds a level of trust, compassion, and intimacy that becomes the basis of relationships everyone really wants to have.

Besides, it’s much healthier for YOU than questioning another person’s ability or their willingness to pull their weight.  Think about it.  A true friend will help another person, and uplift them. A true friend will find a way to speak a “hard truth” in a soft and loving way.

This Is What Builds Better Relationships: Communications

Practicing the six behaviors of Integrity-Based CommunicationsTM produces better relationships, more authentic friendships, and positive exchanges with winning results for all everyone. Plus higher levels of creative energy and lots less stress!  Who wouldn’t want that?

In personal relationships with friends and family, the results have included the ability to talk about virtually everything – even those controversial topics like sex, politics and money – without bitter exchanges or arguing, much less losing a battle!  The ease of discussing even religious and cultural differences becomes an opportunity to exchange ideas and learn from one another.

Ultimately, this sort of open and honest dialogue can create a place of safety and trust, where “making meaning” of words can go beyond previously assumed, habitual ways of being misunderstood.  Taking personal risks, going deeper in discussing our goals, our dreams, and our passions, can help each of us discover that we are more alike one another than different — at the core of our values.

For simplicity, here are the six behaviors of Integrity-Based CommunicationsTM:

  • IBC-1:   Tell your truth quicker, faster.
  • IBC-2:   Ask for what you want.
  • IBC-3:   Ask questions.
  • IBC-4:   Pay attention to the answers.
  • IBC-5:   Keep your agreements; renegotiate before the deadline.
  • IBC-6:   Be accountable for the consequences of your choices and actions.

I challenge you to see if this method of communicating helps you get what you really want, while helping others get what they really want!  And who wouldn’t find that more satisfying in your relationships? Learn more about how Integrity-Based CommunicationsTM can improve personal relationships and professional relationships alike!

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