In a successful relationship, couples work very hard to keep the spark alive. So how do they do that? By honest and open communication. It is amazing how many misunderstandings crop up between men and women. But then I guess if you browse the bookshelves of any bookstore you will see titles on this subject e.g. “Men are From Mars,” “Why Women Don’t Read Maps” etc.
All couples argue but it is how they do it that is important. You need to trust one another and that means feeling able to disagree without it turning into a personal attack. Try being open about how you are feeling. Don’t get personal or blame the other person as that will not help you to resolve anything. A good argument can be fantastic for your relationship as it can strengthen the bond between you. Then there is always the making up. Wow!
Make time for each other. Instead of being at the bottom of each others to do list, put it at the top. Your relationship affects the entire family. It must be nurtured in order for it to survive and prosper. Shared memories are what keep a couple together. Try playing games together. Shared interests such as golf, bridge, special outings are great for keeping the sparkle alive.
One game you could play is to taking turns for each person to make a request. They could ask to go for a walk, have a cup of tea/coffee in bed, take in a movie etc. The person being asked has the right to say no but the next day it will be their turn to be the asker, so they may want to remember that. These types of games help to build up the intimacy in a relationship. It also helps build a habit of asking for what you want rather than expecting your partner to guess.
A very important part of having a successful relationship is a very caring and intimate relationship, but unfortunately most believe it is all about sex. Having a great and intimate sex life is important, but it is perhaps even more important just to reach out and touch your partner affectionately every day. You can also just sit down and actually listen to what they have to say. This alone can move mountains in your relationship.
In order to be part of a successful couple, you first have to love yourself. Often we complain that we do not feel loved by our partners. But when we are asked what they need to do differently we can’t answer. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else properly. You need to work on your self esteem issues first before addressing anything you feel is wrong in your relationship.
You also cannot depend on your relationship alone to make you happy and give you a fulfilling life. You have a life of your own and if you live it fully, you will bring more joy and happiness to your partnership. Two people who have found happiness together and separately make the most successful bonds.
So to sum up, you don’t get anything worth having in this life without a little work and that applies to successful relationships. Couples who work hard get to play hard!
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